Treats for Ferrets: Anecdotes and Songs

This past summer I found that she [Daphne] had chipped one of her canine teeth so I took her to the vet and they said it needed to be removed. I was a wreck because before this she had ever even had a cold and now she had to undergo surgery. All went well and though I always knew she was smart and had me wrapped, and couple incidences following the surgery just blew me away. I of course felt terrible about the whole thing and though the doctor said she would probably be fine to eat her normal food I moistened her food to feed it to her, just in case. After 2 or 3 days of moistening her food, I tried only offering her the kibble, but she would refuse to eat it, so I just figured her mouth was still hurting. Another day went by and still she would refuse her kibble; and after what the doctor had told me I thought for sure by now she would be ok. So I put one of her favorite crunchy treats on the floor then went into the other room and just peaked out form behind the door to watch her. It did not take long for her to discover the treat, then she looked around, snatched the treat and ran behind the couch! Needless to say she did not get anymore moistened food from me after that display. The other thing that shocked me, is a day or two after the surgery, she started chewing the buttons on the couch (her favorite past time) and she I told her "NO" she turned to look at me then opened her mouth, as if she was saying "But look at what you did to me!" She had never done that when I have scolded her before and from that point on, I have never doubted her intelligence and ability to con me into getting what she wanted.!

Do you own a plump ferret? Try this game...: Fun Games (not too active) by Wendy Smith - posted 1999.09.20 on the Ferret Mailing List
Reproduced by permission of the author

Which brings me to my point... After noticing a sudden weight gain, we have instituted mandatory playtimes. No sleeping allowed. In keeping with the fall season, one of our activities is bobbing for apple. We take a small piece of apple, cut a notch on either side and tie some yarn around it. Then it's dangled in front of an overweight ferret, who had to chase it for an average of 20 minutes before eating. This could probably be done with any treat - but apples are especially good because you just can't sink your teeth into them. The common technique is for the ferret to pin it against their back, but then you just give the yarn a yank. Excercise is cruel.;-) Hiding an apple in the bottom of a knapsack filled with bags is also a fun exercise - so long as you don't let it get stolen and hidden behind the couch!

Ferrets Remember by Julie Dowdy - posted 1999.09.09 on the Ferret Mailing List
Reproduced by permission of the author

Tassy remembers Coke. She knows that it is a Coke can. Without smelling it! If you have any other can in your hand, she doesn't care. A red Coke can? She's on you like white on rice.

Sturmie remembers mushrooms. Without fail, every time we go to the grocery store, he hunts through the bags until he finds the mushrooms so he can dig them out of the packaging and play with them.

Ferret Weirdness by Barbara Dashnea - posted 1998/10/23 on the Ferret Forum Mailing List
Reproduced by permission of the author

At one time, I had a large dish for water, it was just next to the food dish. I kept finding food in the water. I thought they were too close, so I kept moving the food farther way from the water. Finally, the food was across the room... water still had food in it. Then I saw Snorky grab a mouth full of food, run like mad across the room and drop it into the water! He stood waiting for a little while, Then went bobbing for kibble! He put his head, right up to his ears, under the water, grabbed a piece of food, and chomped away. He never got all the food, then ran over for more kibble. Little turkey!

I have seen my little ferts hanging out of the hammock eating also. Cute, huh?

Gizzie (God bless his soul) could count to 7. He loved sunflower seeds and I'd let him have 7 when I was eating them. I'd have to crack the shells and give him the nut so it wasn't a quick process but he would always wait and after his 7th one he would go on his way. He was very intelligent in many ways and a very special little one. He loved everyone and was loved by everyone. It was a great loss when he died.

Songs:

"Ferretone" sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells"
By Michael C. Burkard
Reproduced with with author's permission, 1999

Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone all day, Oh, what fun it is to hide my Mommy's keys away! Hey!

Dashing 'round the room, in the dark of night, Oh, what fun it is to give the pup-py dog a bite! Ow!

Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone all day, Oh, what fun it is to drag my Daddy's shoes away! Hey!

Bells on big tree ring, giving Dad a fright, Oh, what fun it is to dig the potted plants tonight! Hey!

Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone, Fer-re-tone all day, Oh, what fun it is to hear my Mommy holler, "Hey!"

The Treat Song sung to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"
Copyright © Lori Christian, 1999 will probably let you use it if you ask nicely:

We ferrets want banana chips.
We want some apple too.
Then all the socks we've sto-o-len
We might return to you.
And car keys and remote control and e'en your long-lost shoe.

We are ferrets and we all want some treats.
Lo-ots of treats!
We are fe-e-rrets and we MUST have our treats.

You say you've no banana chips?
That isn't very nice.
You don't have any a-a-pples?
Not even one small slice?
Then rai-ai-sins or Cheerios will just this once suffice.

CHORUS

Your lack of tasty rai-ai-sins
Won't win you any praise.
The scarcity of Cheerios,
Has caused a deep malaise.
You best come up with something quick or we will pout for days.

CHORUS

Though Bob C's chicken gra-a-vy
is quite the tasty food,
We don't want any right now, thanks.
We just aren't in the mood.
Red licorice or peanut butter would be pretty good.

CHORUS

You don't have those things ei-ei-ther?
Our wrath you do excite.
We want some treats, we want them now.
You understand our plight?!?!?!
What's that you have behind your back? It looks like FERRETVITE!

Now we'll dance and dook because we get a treat.
Our favorite treat!
Now we'll dance and dook because we get a treat.

"We are happy ferrets now" sung to the tune of "Happy Days Are Here Again"
By Mary Cohen, United States
Reproduced with author's permission, 1999

We are happy ferrets now.
Our mom should come and take a bow.
She made Chicken Gravy for us, WOW!
We are happy ferrets now.

She cursed Bob Church* left and right,
'Cause she stayed up way past midnight,
Just to be sure that she got it right.
We are happy ferrets now.

No more strained baby food.
It puts us in a bad mood.

We are happy ferrets now.
That Gravy is the cat's meow.
If we don't get more, there'll be a row.
We are happy ferrets now.

Duck soup is just too passe.
We get our pep the modern way.
Gravy made us what we are today.
We are happy ferrets now.

* I don't know Bob, but I know he has a sense of humor. I have his recipe, but I'm too chicken to try it. [Note: Bob Church invented the Chicken gravy recipe]

Ferret carol song: "Oh Ferretone" sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree" or "Oh Tannenbaum"
By Mary Cohen, United States
Reproduced with author's permission, 1999

Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
Thou art so rich and tasty!
Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
We love thee more than pastry!
We wish we could drink you straight up,
But Mom pours some into a cup,
And thins the rest with veggie oil,
It is enough to make us boil.

Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
Thou hast a wonderous flavor.
Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
One which we'll always savor.
That new full bottle makes us glad.
When it's all gone, we feel so sad,
But Mom brings out a new supply,
And we all heave a grateful sigh.

Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
What would we do without thee?
Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
How empty would our lives be!
When we lie down to take a nap,
We dream about that open cap,
And watch Mom pour it in a spoon,
And in our sleep we softly croon.

Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
Our Christmas morning present!
Oh Ferretone, Oh Ferretone,
Who needs a roast stuffed pheasant?
You make our fur as soft as snow.
You give our eyes that special glow.
To thee we raise our grateful paws.
You're on our list to Santa Claus!

"Box of Raisins!" sung to the tune of "Rock Of Ages" hymn (cleft for me...). Song written for Mary's Swedish angora ferret named Bruno who is just under five pounds.
By Mary Cohen, United States
Reproduced with author's permission, 1999

Box of raisins, all for me,
I will just take twenty three.
Then I'll hide them in a nook,
where my mom won't think to look.
I will eat them one by one,
and I'll smile when I am done.

Nutrical tube, all for me,
I won't share it no-siree.
I could make it last all day,
if I take time out to play.
When it's gone, I will be sad,
but my tummy will be glad.

Watermelon, all for me,
sweet and juicy as can be.
I don't like it when it's chilled,
Hurts my tooth ( the one that's filled).
I'd prefer it not be sliced,
I would rather have it diced.

Ripe banana, all for me,
freshly picked, right off the tree.
Are those brown spots? that won't do!
must be yellow through and through.
Could you cut off tiny chunks,
I can't eat those great big hunks.

Cheerio box, all for me,
Each one's different, can't you see?
I prefer to choose my own.
What I leave can then be thrown.
Do they look the same to you?
You don't have my high I.Q.

Do not miss treats: Bob Church excerpts from his Diet 101 posts in 1998 on the Ferret Mailing List. Reproduced with permission of the author.

Thanks:
For letting me use their anecdotes and songs on this page to: Liz Blackburn, Michael C. Burkard, Jennifer Butts, Lori Christian, Mary Cohen, Barbara Dashnea, Julie Dowdy, Troy Lynn Eckart, Danielle Frye, Fuzzyscent, Laura Young.